On the plane ride to Africa I began to have several feelings swarming my head. Of course the first one that popped in was the excitment of doing something so bold and profound as traveling to a different country just to share the word and love of God. However, I began to feel unworthy too. God has continued to show his love and affection for me daily. He has proven his undying love time and time again. I feel as though I of all people do not deserve this love. I will never begin to grasp or comprehend the reason why he loves me so. Many of the things I have done are displeasing and disappointing to him. I continue to do things that break his heart and that end up hurting me in the end as well. Instead of turning to him I turn to worldly things. Every time I am left feeling more empty than before.
So why me? What could I possibly give anyone else in a time of need when I can't help myself? How can I tell someone to turn to God and feel his love when I don't do it as an example? I guess this is because God uses people exactly like me. He uses the broken and weak to help others. Maybe that's my purpose here. To help others in need see the glory of God. To see his love even when they fall. People don't need to be perfect to be used. God has been continuely teaching me this.
One of the verses that sticks out most to me is: "My grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Cor. 12:9
This verse shows and proves that even when you mess up God still uses you. I feel like I still have a lot to learn about this. I know God loves me I just don't understand it, but you don't have to understand everything. I just have to trust in God and believe he loves me the way I have been told he does. God will take care of the rest.  
Love Always,
Jessica Chrisitna